Some of you may already know about our desire to become parents and our struggle to make that dream a reality. After eight years of marriage, we still remain childless. But all that was about to change.
When we learned of our pregnancy in early October, we were ecstatic. We began to talk about designing a nursery, and we began to dream about what life was going to be like with a little one in our arms. Despite the discomforts of pregnancy, we had never felt better! Our dream was coming true! Our families were so excited that even Carrie's sister didn't hesitate to push her wedding day back two months so that the three of us could be there. Everything seemed to be falling into place for a fulfilled life as a missionary FAMILY.
All those dreams came crashing down last week when we experienced a spontaneous miscarrage, the very day we were supposed to go in for our first ultrasound and see our baby for the first time. Carrie was rushed to a local hospital, but doctors said that there was nothing they could have done to prevent it and that "these things happen." Either the embryo wasn't properly attached, or it was defective and it was nature's way of "solving the problem." Hearing that our baby was a problem needing solved wasn't exactly what we needed to hear.
As every cloud has a silver lining, we want to rejoice that the Lord was very merciful to us, not allowing us to see our little one before losing it. We were also comforted by the idea that this type of miscarriage was not our fault, nor should it put us at higher risk in the future. And lastly, were are left with hope that if we were able to conceive once on our own, we should be able to do it again someday, no matter how far off that day might be.
Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to grieve the loss of our baby and all the dreams that surrounded it. Pray as Carrie's body continues to heal (fortunately she didn't need surgery), and pray as we have both been sick with colds on top of everything else! Lastly, pray that this experience would not be in vain, and that God would teach us and use us in the future as He sees fit as a result of what we've been through.
Despite all we have gone through, we recognize that our first baby was, and will always be special, and that it is a life worth celebrating, no matter how short its time on earth.
Thank you for your love and support.
Carrie (Caty) and Michael
My prayers are with you both. We've been through the same grief, although in different specifics (I don't remember if we shared the story before). God is faithful and He will bring you through this time, to comfort and hope.
Posted by: JDM-GBG | October 21, 2008 at 06:40 PM